Adoption Day!

Today is adoption day *grin*

22 years ago I became a part of this amazing family and I couldn't be more blessed or grateful.

A Simpler Life

Getting away from it all always puts things in perspective. The simplistic nature of the Amish buggies I see going down the street remind me of how my life has turned into chaos and noise. Coming to Shipshewana I always find myself wondering what life would be like if I were Amish, if Sundays were truly set aside to be days of rest and you spent a good portion of the day worshiping God (Amish church services last at least two hours if not more). But then I think of how much I depend on technology, electricity and all those other wonderful things to function normally and I always tell myself "these are essential" but are they really? I'm reflecting during my time here at Shipshewana and realizing that the days I don't get on facebook are happy and full the majority of the time and I find myself deep in thought about my relationship with God or other things that are truly essential to survival. My main hope is that this time away from the normal life routine and the reminder that life doesn't have to always be "go go go" to be full and happy doesn't get pushed aside as soon as I get back into Michigan where all my adult responsibilities sit waiting for me to return.

Labor day is exactly what it's supposed to be this year...a break from labor and I am so grateful. Thank you God!

Rise

This song has been such a blessing in my life in the past few weeks and the lyrics speak to me everyday so I thought I would share them

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise
Cause He Who is in me
Is greater than I will ever be
And I will rise

Sometimes my heart is on the ground
And hope is nowhere to be found
Love is a figment I once knew
And yet I hold on to what I know is true

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise
Cause He Who is in me
Is greater than I will ever be
And I will rise

Well I keep on coming to this place
That I don't know quite how to face
So I lay down my life in hopes to die
That somehow I might rise

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise
Cause He Who is in me
Is greater than I will ever be
And I will rise

I know I'm Pretty but I want to be Beautiful

People say that I'm pretty but I can never get past the "pretty" stage. I take their compliments in stride and I'm glad that at least I get compliments but inside I'm kicking myself wondering "when will someone call me beautiful, what am I doing wrong that I can't be found beautiful?" People see me as put together and efficient yet on the inside I feel broken. I can't get any guy to see me as something other than cute and I wonder if I will ever be considered a woman rather than a girl. I keep saying "God is Enough" but if I am honest with myself and ask "am I really believing it right now?", the answer is no. I feel so alone I thing that no guy is ever going to love me and want me to be his wife. I admit I'm not good at flirting or dropping hints that I like someone for that matter, and I'm not one to go out at night just to find someone, but I try and yet I get the "oh I just like you as a friend are you ok with that? and while I say yes I see now that all this time I've been lying, many times the guys I've felt something for find someone else and marry and every time I see them it hurts but I don't let on because if I lose their friendship I'm more alone and I don't want that to happen. Every night the tears threaten to come as I think about the fact that I'm still alone (living with my parents gives me too much time to think) and I wake up thinking it's a new day and I can meet someone and yet every night I still go to bed alone (figuratively not literally for those of you whose minds work in funny ways...). I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I'm just going to have accept that I'm not meant to meet anyone, but I know I shouldn't think like that it's irrational and silly but it's what I feel and I'm sick of telling people that I like being single. I guess all this to say that I need a lot of prayer right now as I try to accept life and begin to trust God that he will bring Mr. Right along at the right tim or that he shows me that I'm meant to be single.

Sorry to be such a downer, if you stayed with me this long then I am grateful, thanks for reading.

More things that make me naturally happy

I have a GAP obsession, I absolutely love going into the store and seeing all the new fashions (whether they look good on me or not). I don't spend a lot of money in the store, but I don't need to, I love going into the store just to browse. Plus I remember things that I like and then look for them at the outlet a few months later because they are usually a lot cheaper.

Caramel Apple Spice Cider from starbucks, the smell gets my mouth watering and that first sip is like heaven on earth. If I could have one of these everyday without it costing me a lot of money I would for sure.

It's Official: Adult life has truly begun

It's official I'm an adult. I started my first true "grown up" job on July 7th, 2011. I work 40 hours 5 days a week and what grown up job wouldn't be official if it didn't have a commute (1 hour 15 minute one way just in case you were wondering). As a result of my grown up job I have come to appreciate my weekends (though this is only my second weekend). There's so much I have to get used to now that I have a stable job and my mind gets so wrapped up in trying to remember every piece of information I'm being taught at work that weekends are the time to let my brain take a vacation. My friend Amy is doing a blog called Friday Highs, that talks about the things in life that we truly love and give us those natural highs and that we take for granted many times. Now that I'm working all the time it's hard for me to stop and smell the roses I guess you could say. Therefore, I'm going to do a similar blog to hers that helps me keep track of the things that give me that natural high and that I take for granted. Here is my first of many things that I appreciate but take for granted:

The way my face feels after washing it at night. It's just a cool refreshing feeling that I love.

Currently I am using Burt's Bees Deep Cleansing Cream with Soap Bark and Chamomile and it's amazing. I'm also using a 5 minute warming mineral mask from the Body shop when I feel the need to have a spa like facial.

Home Sweet Home???

I drove back into the mitten state on Monday with mixed feelings. Most of my friends and family still say "hey you're home" but I don't know if I feel the same way. On one hand I'm enjoying being back where I grew up, I get the chance to go to family graduation parties, attend our annual father's day picnic (though it is a week late). But, part of me misses being in a state where I can just be me. I feel like I have to conform to be the person I used to be because that's what people here remember and it's exhausting to try and get them to realize I've changed and have grown into the true me. Plus, my parents have gotten used to living without me and I without them, so it's a lot of learning and compromising trying to figure out how to fit into each other's lives and routines. Am I really home? I guess I don't know the answer just yet, I still feel like I'm on vacation and that any day now I'll be driving back to North Carolina or even Chicago and establishing my home base there.

Things I like about Michigan:

Yummy Breadsticks and Italian food from our local restaurant

The Fenton House

Yes I know it's like walmart, but they have the best prices, and it's just so much better than walmart, target or some of the other grocery store/box stores out there.

My niece Molly!!!!!