I'm engaged!

I'm engaged, not in my dreams, not in the future, but RIGHT NOW! So weird but so awesome all at the same time :)

Season Finales

It's that time of year, the time of year when TV packs a huge emotional punch known as the season finale. In just one hour, sometimes two you'll feel a whole range of emotions from happiness to sadness, curiosity to anger. For me I never want season finales to end because I'm able to escape if just for an hour or two and lose myself in the characters and their story lines, take all the emotions I have from my life and put them in the show. I especially love when season finales make it ok for guys to cry in front of girls. I'm never sure why this is a trait that I admire, I've never seen my dad cry that I can remember but I feel that a guy crying actually shows strength because they trust the other people or person enough to let go and just really let their emotions out. Anybody have any thoughts on season finales and guys crying in front of girls?

Answering questions

My friend Kylee commented on my most recent post asking if I am enjoying Michigan and if I miss my friends. The answer to both of those questions is yes, but with some reservations let me explain

I am enjoying Michigan but I think it mainly has to do with the guy that keeps me smiling on a daily basis. Though I grew up here I'm not severely attached to anything in Michigan. I've always been kind of out of place. From a young age I knew Michigan wasn't where I was meant to be for the rest of my life, it's not something I can really describe or pinpoint but it just never seemed right. For now Michigan is where I live but I don't really consider it "home" even though I've been back almost a year. My heart is in California and North Carolina. I can envision settling down in either of those states for a longer period of time and starting a family.

I MISS MY FRIENDS MORE THAN WORDS! Sure I learned how to develop friendships from long distance at an early age, Molly and I only had a few months before she went off to Olivet and I still had 3 years of high school left. But, after being at Olivet and establishing lifelong friendships, the type of friendships where time has no affect, where you can be completely transparent without being judged, where you know that if you really needed them they'd drop whatever they were doing and come even if they were states away, it's super hard to be away. Plus, it's been difficult to establish those same type of friendships here in Michigan, or any friendships for that matter. I spend most of my time on the phone, skype, or Facebook connecting with all of my friends from olivet who are spread all over, from Califronia, Oregon (that's you Kylee!), Chicago, Ohio (Amy!), and Missouri. Part of me wishes I could be closer to them but then maybe I wouldn't cherish their friendships as much.

And that's pretty much it. Happy Monday!

So much changes in a year

Life is so different than it was a year ago.

Now: I live in Michigan, I'm sitting on the couch in my own apartment, I'm a full time social worker, and I'm a girlfriend.

A year ago: I lived in North Carolina, I rented a room out of a house, I was unemployed, and I was single


At least once a day I marvel at how much I'm not in control and how much God IS.  It could be something as simple as paying the bills and something as complicated as working through the aspects of my relationship with Andrew. Thank goodness God is in control!


Just my random thought for the day happy weekend friends :)

Sorting through my thoughts

As I sit in the room I called home for over 2 years and reflect on the events that have transpired since I left North Carolina in June I marvel at how much has changed and not changed all at the same time. I was so excited to come back to North Carolina because i haven't been back since I left but I didn't expect to feel such longing and sadness. As soon as I stepped outside the doors of the airport and breathed my first breath of North Carolina air I found myself saying "this is home" it just felt right. North Carolina is the place where I really grew into my own skin, the place where I discovered my true passion for social work, the place where I forged friendships that will last a lifetime, the place where I've gone through personal struggles and come out on the other side, the place where I'm treated with respect and courtesy with no one expecting it in return although respect and courtesy is always reflected back. The scenery is the same and the people are the same, but I've changed, I've truly begun to cherish my time here and while I don't want to go back in time I know I want to come back and make a home here in the future. I can't begin to think about what my emotions are going to be like on Sunday so I'm just going to take it a day at a time, maybe even an hour at a time and just enjoy every single moment because soon I'll be back to reality and will have to deal with the fact that I no longer live in North Carolina and that for now it's not in the cards but remind myself that I will return and be a resident of North Carolina once again.

So long for now

I don't post much anymore, my thinking is that maybe when I get a boyfriend and get married I'll have a lot more to say that is worth posting for others to read. For now my life is a simple routine that doesn't have anything that others would find exciting and that's ok. So I think until I enter a stage of life where the happenings are more exciting than the fact that I got a new high score on a Just Dance 3 song I will leave blogging to my friends and let this blog go. If I come back I think I will start fresh with a brand new blog (same blog address) and new blog look. For those that have kept up with me, thank you. It's not goodbye forever just goodbye for now.

Good Night and Good Luck

I've moved!

I have moved into my own place! I haven't had a chance to unpack everything so I don't have pictures yet, but I will get around to it someday. The best part about moving is that I'm only 5 minutes from work. The worst part is waiting for maintenance when things break, especially on weekends. This weekend my shower broke so I'm already back at my parent's house until tomorrow evening. Thankful I have somewhere to go though when things like that happen. Once I get all settled I think I'll blog more regularly.....I hope.

Adoption Day!

Today is adoption day *grin*

22 years ago I became a part of this amazing family and I couldn't be more blessed or grateful.

A Simpler Life

Getting away from it all always puts things in perspective. The simplistic nature of the Amish buggies I see going down the street remind me of how my life has turned into chaos and noise. Coming to Shipshewana I always find myself wondering what life would be like if I were Amish, if Sundays were truly set aside to be days of rest and you spent a good portion of the day worshiping God (Amish church services last at least two hours if not more). But then I think of how much I depend on technology, electricity and all those other wonderful things to function normally and I always tell myself "these are essential" but are they really? I'm reflecting during my time here at Shipshewana and realizing that the days I don't get on facebook are happy and full the majority of the time and I find myself deep in thought about my relationship with God or other things that are truly essential to survival. My main hope is that this time away from the normal life routine and the reminder that life doesn't have to always be "go go go" to be full and happy doesn't get pushed aside as soon as I get back into Michigan where all my adult responsibilities sit waiting for me to return.

Labor day is exactly what it's supposed to be this year...a break from labor and I am so grateful. Thank you God!

Rise

This song has been such a blessing in my life in the past few weeks and the lyrics speak to me everyday so I thought I would share them

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise
Cause He Who is in me
Is greater than I will ever be
And I will rise

Sometimes my heart is on the ground
And hope is nowhere to be found
Love is a figment I once knew
And yet I hold on to what I know is true

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise
Cause He Who is in me
Is greater than I will ever be
And I will rise

Well I keep on coming to this place
That I don't know quite how to face
So I lay down my life in hopes to die
That somehow I might rise

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise
Cause He Who is in me
Is greater than I will ever be
And I will rise

I know I'm Pretty but I want to be Beautiful

People say that I'm pretty but I can never get past the "pretty" stage. I take their compliments in stride and I'm glad that at least I get compliments but inside I'm kicking myself wondering "when will someone call me beautiful, what am I doing wrong that I can't be found beautiful?" People see me as put together and efficient yet on the inside I feel broken. I can't get any guy to see me as something other than cute and I wonder if I will ever be considered a woman rather than a girl. I keep saying "God is Enough" but if I am honest with myself and ask "am I really believing it right now?", the answer is no. I feel so alone I thing that no guy is ever going to love me and want me to be his wife. I admit I'm not good at flirting or dropping hints that I like someone for that matter, and I'm not one to go out at night just to find someone, but I try and yet I get the "oh I just like you as a friend are you ok with that? and while I say yes I see now that all this time I've been lying, many times the guys I've felt something for find someone else and marry and every time I see them it hurts but I don't let on because if I lose their friendship I'm more alone and I don't want that to happen. Every night the tears threaten to come as I think about the fact that I'm still alone (living with my parents gives me too much time to think) and I wake up thinking it's a new day and I can meet someone and yet every night I still go to bed alone (figuratively not literally for those of you whose minds work in funny ways...). I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I'm just going to have accept that I'm not meant to meet anyone, but I know I shouldn't think like that it's irrational and silly but it's what I feel and I'm sick of telling people that I like being single. I guess all this to say that I need a lot of prayer right now as I try to accept life and begin to trust God that he will bring Mr. Right along at the right tim or that he shows me that I'm meant to be single.

Sorry to be such a downer, if you stayed with me this long then I am grateful, thanks for reading.

More things that make me naturally happy

I have a GAP obsession, I absolutely love going into the store and seeing all the new fashions (whether they look good on me or not). I don't spend a lot of money in the store, but I don't need to, I love going into the store just to browse. Plus I remember things that I like and then look for them at the outlet a few months later because they are usually a lot cheaper.

Caramel Apple Spice Cider from starbucks, the smell gets my mouth watering and that first sip is like heaven on earth. If I could have one of these everyday without it costing me a lot of money I would for sure.

It's Official: Adult life has truly begun

It's official I'm an adult. I started my first true "grown up" job on July 7th, 2011. I work 40 hours 5 days a week and what grown up job wouldn't be official if it didn't have a commute (1 hour 15 minute one way just in case you were wondering). As a result of my grown up job I have come to appreciate my weekends (though this is only my second weekend). There's so much I have to get used to now that I have a stable job and my mind gets so wrapped up in trying to remember every piece of information I'm being taught at work that weekends are the time to let my brain take a vacation. My friend Amy is doing a blog called Friday Highs, that talks about the things in life that we truly love and give us those natural highs and that we take for granted many times. Now that I'm working all the time it's hard for me to stop and smell the roses I guess you could say. Therefore, I'm going to do a similar blog to hers that helps me keep track of the things that give me that natural high and that I take for granted. Here is my first of many things that I appreciate but take for granted:

The way my face feels after washing it at night. It's just a cool refreshing feeling that I love.

Currently I am using Burt's Bees Deep Cleansing Cream with Soap Bark and Chamomile and it's amazing. I'm also using a 5 minute warming mineral mask from the Body shop when I feel the need to have a spa like facial.

Home Sweet Home???

I drove back into the mitten state on Monday with mixed feelings. Most of my friends and family still say "hey you're home" but I don't know if I feel the same way. On one hand I'm enjoying being back where I grew up, I get the chance to go to family graduation parties, attend our annual father's day picnic (though it is a week late). But, part of me misses being in a state where I can just be me. I feel like I have to conform to be the person I used to be because that's what people here remember and it's exhausting to try and get them to realize I've changed and have grown into the true me. Plus, my parents have gotten used to living without me and I without them, so it's a lot of learning and compromising trying to figure out how to fit into each other's lives and routines. Am I really home? I guess I don't know the answer just yet, I still feel like I'm on vacation and that any day now I'll be driving back to North Carolina or even Chicago and establishing my home base there.

Things I like about Michigan:

Yummy Breadsticks and Italian food from our local restaurant

The Fenton House

Yes I know it's like walmart, but they have the best prices, and it's just so much better than walmart, target or some of the other grocery store/box stores out there.

My niece Molly!!!!!

Kindle Magic

I've always been an avid reader, from the days when I used to say to my mom "read books to you mommy" (although she always ended up reading them to me) to the days when I couldn't put down the teen christian series Clearwater Crossing, and now picking up my Kindle any chance I get and reading the e-books I've bought and the ones that are free (there are actually A LOT of good ones for free!). But I'll admit I was skeptical of the Kindle at first. I've been asking for an e-reader for about 2 years now, for Christmas, Birthdays etc. not really knowing what they were just knowing that they were popular and I thought it would be cool though I didn't realize how much I would use it. As they've gotten more popular and common in society I've still wanted one though I began to wonder would I miss the physical action of turning the page or being able to skip to the end and read the ending before the rest of the book? Plus, I kind of forgot that I wanted one, it lost the "I need it now" factor and I realized I would be ok without one. Graduation from grad school rolled around and I wasn't expecting much in the way of gifts, I didn't need anything (besides money). My mom thought otherwise and bought me a Nook, but said that I could return it and buy a Kindle. Being the tech geek that I am I decided to do days of research before I decided whether I wanted to keep the Nook or return it and get a Kindle. On almost every tech site and review that I read the Kindle won out over the Nook so I made the decision to buy the Kindle and I am not sorry. The Kindle has this magic to it where you almost don't realize you are reading an e-book and you feel like you're reading a regular paperback or hardcover. On top of that I just can't seem to put the books down, I get so engrossed and love reading even more today than I did when I was little. So if you're looking for a good way to get back into reading and start looking into e-readers I highly recommend the Kindle, maybe it can bring a little bit of magic into your life and renew the spark to read or light the fire if you've never enjoyed reading.

Sorry I'm venting for a moment

I hate when the feeling of loneliness creeps back into my life just when I thought I let it go. Sometimes I don't realize it until late at night when I'm lying awake unable o sleep. Other times I notice it throughout the day if I'm at a restaurant and see a lot of couples or if I turn on the TV and their are movies on about love and relationships. The worst part is I can't stop watching, in fact I end up watching more movies about love and happiness because it gives me that reassurance or at least a glimmer of hope that it will happen for me someday. I feel like I'm ready for that stage in life, the honeymoon period where everything is new and we just can't be away from each other too long, and then the phase where we know that we are meant for each other and we're just comfortable, and then the marriage where you are bound forever and get to work as a team through life. It's not easy that I know and some people may ask why I'm wishing my single days away but you have to understand that everyone around me is getting married, my brothers, my former roommates, and just friends in general. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for them and I love weddings but there are times I feel like I'm at the breaking point. I've never had a guy make me feel special, never really been on a date, never been kissed the list goes on I pray to God that he will help me be patient and learn that I can be completely satisfied being single, but it's definitely taking time and days like today I'm ready to just throw up my hands in frustration. But I know God will get me through days like today, and I'm a tough cookie. So to anyone that reads my blog I apologize for venting I just needed to get this off my chest and now I'll go back to being happy :)

Chinese and General Tso Chicken

I didn't grow up eating chinese food and I always used to envy those people I saw having chinese take-out from those awesome boxes with chopsticks. There were chinese restaurants around our town but it just wasn't a food that my parents grew up eating so it was never an option when deciding what to have for dinner each night. We had PF Changs once but my mom wasn't too impressed and I was such a picky eater when I was young that I refused to try anything on the menu besides the great wall of chocolate. Fast forward to high school when the chinese buffet came into my life. I will still pretty safe when it came to eating foods at the buffet (translation: pretty much any food I ate at the buffet could be found at most restaurants and wasn't specific to a chinese buffet). But the idea of Chinese food was suddenly on the radar and we went for the Chinese buffet every now and then. However, when I went to college the idea of Chinese food never entered my mind except for the one time someone asked me to go to Panda Express which had just opened not too far from campus and I said no.

Now let's move on to today well just a few weeks ago. I was at my brother's house looking for leftovers to eat for dinner and he took out the coveted chinese take out box I had always envied. Curious I asked what it was and he said General Tso's chicken, and of course I not knowing anything about chinese food proceeded to say "is that a restaurant?" He laughed and made fun of me a little (he can never pass up an opportunity to tease me) but then told me it was actually a chicken dish you can get at a lot of chinese restaurants. I'm more adventurous when it comes to eating and trying new foods now so I decided to try a piece of General Tso's even though my brother said it was spicy, when I popped that piece of chicken in my mouth it felt like a little piece of heaven. Just the right amount of spicy, a little sweet, and a little sour. There wasn't much left so I didn't really get another piece but my mouth and brain filed General Tso's chicken into an acceptable dish to eat.

Today I had a craving for Chinese for the first time and decided to go order Chinese take out at a restaurant in Hillsborough called China Fuji. I'm glad I knew what I wanted at least for my main dish because the menu was overwhelming, and since I had the choice of a side (egg roll, wonton soup, egg drop soup) I chose Wonton soup hoping it would be another slice of heaven in my mouth. I got home, and opened the paper sack that my food was contained in and was disappointed that I didn't get the Chinese take-out box but quickly put the thought aside and opened up General Tso's chicken and put it in my mouth and it was still as good as I remembered.The wonton soup was not such a hit, I wasn't a fan of the dumplings but I can try egg drop soup next time.

So that's my Chinese food story, I'm quite excited if you can't already tell that I can finally say that I like Chinese and if someone asks me to go out for Chinese I can say yes and really mean it. I'm sure most of you who had Chinese growing up think this really weird but hey it was enough to brighten my otherwise monotonous week.

So I Got Hooded

Well it's been an eventful few weeks. I finished classes, wrote my final papers, annotated my last case studies, dog sat for a friend for a few days, got into a minor car accident, welcomed my family into town oh yeah and I got hooded! I am officially Brittany Anderson, MSW (master of social work for those of you that don't know that acronym stands for).

It's a weird feeling knowing that school will no longer be the focus of my life and that I will be considered a professional from now on rather than a student. I've basically been focused on school since I was 2. I've been preparing for this time in my life, the time when I will begin my first real world job (No I don't consider my fast food jobs real world jobs to be honest) and really start establishing my own life which includes putting the majority of my money into bills rather than going to the movies or doing other fun things (not that I haven't done that in the past but I'm sure you catch my drift).

I haven't found a job but God is faithful and I'm putting all my trust in him because he has never failed me and I know he won't fail me now. But, I'll admit that the anxiety that comes with not knowing what's going to come next and worrying about money is overwhelming and it's satan's way of trying to get me to give into temptation and move back home or work at Wendy's (Wendy's is just not a good environment for me and I see now that I was turning my back on God during those days because I just wanted to fit in with the staff and that's not good for my personal, professional, or spiritual life). So I'm fulfilling my life with things that are pleasing to God including reading, listening to music, and even when I'm applying for jobs I always pray that God will show me if this is a job that I should pursue.

So that's pretty much my life right now. I've spent this week after graduation savoring the moment and let it sink in because it's still hard to believe that I have my masters degree and it deserves to be celebrated because no one ever thought I could make it this far and it's been great to overcome such a huge obstacle and overcome it well (I got high passes in 9 out of 10 of my classes!).

Now here are some pictures from this past weekend for you to enjoy

My brother Tim and I :)

(sorry don't know how to flip the photo)

The original Anderson Clan

Just one of the many pictures with friends.

The friend in this photo is Kim she is from Jamaica and she is amazing.

We survived the summer by talking about the musical RENT

We even went to see RENT on stage in Raleigh.

My brother Josh (he also lives in North Carolina now)

More pictures may be posted at a later date if I decide that I want to share more.

Pomeranian Dogs

Note to self: Don't look at pomeranian dogs on petfinder.com when A. you have no money and B. you live in a house that doesn't allow pets. I will throw a huge party the day that I get a place that allows pets and have the money to pay for pet insurance and all that good stuff. Until then won't you please marvel with me at the awesomeness of the pomeranian

The end....

I am now officially done with school. All of my classes are finished, my internship is over, and all homework is complete. And while I'm so excited it's also a weird feeling to know that in a few short weeks it is possible that I'll be starting my first true grown up job in a field that I love. I worked so hard to get to this moment and of course there were times that I thought it would never end and now that it has part of me wants torewind. I love being in school, I love having the opportunity to learn and practice my skills with a group of people who are also still learning, and I love the feeling I get when I turn in an assignment that I know I did a good job on.

But instead of dwelling on the past and wishing I could go back, I am just enjoying this time of relaxation and preparing for the real world, case in point I enjoyed a piece of this awesome cheesecake last Friday as an early celebration for finishing school and to help get me

through the last week of school, it was delicious. I hig

hly recommend going to the Cheesecake Factory and ordering the 30th anniversary chocolate cake cheesecake if you haven't tried it already!

Thanks to you all for supporting me in this grad school journey, I couldn't have done it without your support and love. More to come as I begin the next chapter of my life so be on the lookout!