Rise

This song has been such a blessing in my life in the past few weeks and the lyrics speak to me everyday so I thought I would share them

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise
Cause He Who is in me
Is greater than I will ever be
And I will rise

Sometimes my heart is on the ground
And hope is nowhere to be found
Love is a figment I once knew
And yet I hold on to what I know is true

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise
Cause He Who is in me
Is greater than I will ever be
And I will rise

Well I keep on coming to this place
That I don't know quite how to face
So I lay down my life in hopes to die
That somehow I might rise

Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise
Cause He Who is in me
Is greater than I will ever be
And I will rise

I know I'm Pretty but I want to be Beautiful

People say that I'm pretty but I can never get past the "pretty" stage. I take their compliments in stride and I'm glad that at least I get compliments but inside I'm kicking myself wondering "when will someone call me beautiful, what am I doing wrong that I can't be found beautiful?" People see me as put together and efficient yet on the inside I feel broken. I can't get any guy to see me as something other than cute and I wonder if I will ever be considered a woman rather than a girl. I keep saying "God is Enough" but if I am honest with myself and ask "am I really believing it right now?", the answer is no. I feel so alone I thing that no guy is ever going to love me and want me to be his wife. I admit I'm not good at flirting or dropping hints that I like someone for that matter, and I'm not one to go out at night just to find someone, but I try and yet I get the "oh I just like you as a friend are you ok with that? and while I say yes I see now that all this time I've been lying, many times the guys I've felt something for find someone else and marry and every time I see them it hurts but I don't let on because if I lose their friendship I'm more alone and I don't want that to happen. Every night the tears threaten to come as I think about the fact that I'm still alone (living with my parents gives me too much time to think) and I wake up thinking it's a new day and I can meet someone and yet every night I still go to bed alone (figuratively not literally for those of you whose minds work in funny ways...). I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I'm just going to have accept that I'm not meant to meet anyone, but I know I shouldn't think like that it's irrational and silly but it's what I feel and I'm sick of telling people that I like being single. I guess all this to say that I need a lot of prayer right now as I try to accept life and begin to trust God that he will bring Mr. Right along at the right tim or that he shows me that I'm meant to be single.

Sorry to be such a downer, if you stayed with me this long then I am grateful, thanks for reading.